Saturday, January 22, 2011

Scared to Create

I really, really want to make things. I will spend hours looking through craft books or browsing tutorials online, and find so many ideas. I will be totally motivated to start a new project, and go purchase the things I need. I can come home, start the project...and then I don't finish it.

It's not that I don't want to complete it, or that I lose interest. It's just that I am scared. I am afraid to mess up. I know I can't make it perfectly, so I just throw in the towel. Meanwhile, I keep browsing blogs and am so amazed at the things other people make.

"I can do that too!" I think to myself. But I don't. I bookmark the project and I move on. Six months later I go back to it and wish I had the courage to make it myself, and yet I never do. I am so afraid to make a mistake that I never really start anything.

This post made me remember that I have always wanted to create. See, a long time ago there was a little girl who gave her Barbie dolls haircuts and colored their hair with fingernail polish, and crafted outfits for them from crepe paper, or whatever she could find.

That girl was me.

Then there was the Grandma who couldn't teach me how to crochet because I was left handed. The art teacher who was frustrated to no end with me because my circles never closed. Somewhere along the way, I listened to everyone else and forgot that I am indeed the daughter of a Master Creator, and He made me with the desire and capacity, and yes, even the ability to create!

Today I am going to remember who I am...not the Natalie who is petrified to mess up, or the girl who has told everyone for years that I don't have a creative bone in my body.

Today, I am going to create. And this is where I plan to begin.

5 comments:

Lynn Woes said...

I love scrapbook papers and stickers. I can spend a lot of time in Hobby Lobby looking at that stuff. But I'm scared to scrapbook. My handwriting is too messy, my spelling is atrocious, and I would ALWAYS be behind.

Instead I choose to keep a "pretty book" (home management binder, homekeeping journal, etc) and the cover is changed about 2-4 times a year with a scrapbook cover I will make with recent pictures. It's just enough scrapbooking for me with zero guilt of an unfinished project.

Angie said...

I love that the more I know you, the more I find we have in common. I had to have someone else finish the crocheted blanket for my cousin, who is my god-daughter. For her 19th birthday, I gave it to her, beautiful, pink and blue and white, finished by a friend's momma.
And you create beautiful things. I love your aprons, and wish I had a place to wear one.
Keep doing it girl! Love you!!!!!!

Natalie said...

Lynn,
Scrapbooking scared me to death, so I started using digital scrapbook software! I can't mess it up!

Angie,
You are one of my most favorite people ever! You don't need an apron to wear in Haiti?!

Nichole said...

I love this post Natalie.....but you are very creative! You need to get going on something....maybe another cute apron for your bf down south?;)

Natalie said...

Nichole,
I am making coasters! I will post pictures when I finish...and if you love them, I will of course make you some!