Induced

I hate to hear when a pregnant mom is planning to get induced. Usually, there is a "good" reason; the fear of a very large baby, the mom made it to her due date and hasn't (gasp) had her baby yet, the doctor tells her she should, etc. Sometimes, a mom is just plain tired of being pregnant and being induced seems like the easiest choice. When a mom chooses to be induced, often she is going to end up with the pain and longer recovery time of a c-section, and that is much worse than being pregnant a little longer.

When I was sorting through the three Rubbermaid containers of miscellaneous paperwork I came across a lot of papers that reminded me of when I tried to be induced. Not induced in the sense that I wanted some pitocin to bring on labor and the delivery of my baby, but I wanted to do something, to take matters in my own hands, and end the labor of waiting in the desert where the Lord had me.

In those containers there was a lot of damning evidence of numerous times I tried to outrun God. With each piece of paper, I was more and more reminded of the sovereign control of my Father. Were there consequences? Absolutely. Yet, God was so faithful to never let me run outside of His plan for my life. Always, always, always He brought me back."I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6).

In the moment, I remember being so angry at Him. Surely it wasn't His will for us to be stuck, so why was He thwarting my attempts to change our situation? Only now, years later, can I see that while I was busy trying to change my outer situation, He was working to change my inner person. "but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us" (Romans 5:3-5).

Those papers are gone now; torn up, and thrown away. I don't want to be reminded of my lack of faith, only of His great faithfulness. I don't want to dwell on my disobedience, only on His forgiveness.  "In Your unfailing love You will lead the people You have redeemed. In Your strength You will guide them to Your holy dwelling" (Exodus 15:13).